


like a drum, baby, don't stop beating

by xfilessage



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: 11x22, Angst, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Merlex friendship, Title is from "Gone Gone Gone" by Phillip Phillips, but it wasn't my intention, shipping if you want to see it that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 19:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17371763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xfilessage/pseuds/xfilessage
Summary: “Apparently I’m your emergency contact.”He fails to mention that learning this was one of the most terrifying experiences of his life.





	like a drum, baby, don't stop beating

**Author's Note:**

> I started this last year, but I've been rewatching some Grey's recently and decided to finish it. Takes place in 11x22, 'She's Leaving Home' with references to 4x16, 'Freedom, Part 1'. Enjoy :)

It all starts when his cell phone rings.

Alex balances it between his ear and shoulder as he tosses a plate of frozen macaroni and cheese into the microwave. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Mr. Alex Karev?”

The man on the other line pronounces it like _car-eev,_ earning an eye roll from Alex. “Yeah, this is him.”

“Well, you’re listed as the emergency contact for one, er, Meredith Grey--”

Immediately, a wave of dread crashes down Alex’s spine like a bucket of frigid water. “Mer? Is she okay?” he demands.

“She’s just been checked into a hospital here in San Diego.”

Alex’s breath hitches in his throat.

_The hospital._

_Emergency contact._

An image forces its way into his mind, an image that he has tried hard to repress. Rebecca. The kitchen counter. A knife, dripping with tomato juice and blood. Wrists, slit over the sandwiches he had made her for lunch.

This is the first time Alex has heard from Meredith in months, after she lost the love of her life.

And it’s the _hospital._

 _You can’t do this, Mer,_ thinks Alex. _You have kids now. Zola and Bailey need you._

I _need you._

“Mr. Karev?” the man on the other line says, shaking Alex out of his frantic reverie. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah.” Alex’s voice sounds far away. “Please… please just tell me she’s alive.”

“Yes, she’s very much alive. She’s in labour,” the man tells him. “There was some bleeding, and she lost consciousness. But her daughter called 911, and she’s going to be just fine.”  
  
The man’s words take a long time to sink in. “Labour?” Alex repeats finally. “Mer’s having a baby?”

“Yes. A baby girl, I’m told.”

Alex lets his head fall back, the tightness in his chest beginning to wane. “Fuck,” he whispers to Meredith, a thousand miles away. “Don’t fucking scare me like that.”

“Excuse me?”

Alex grabs his jacket. “I’m coming.”

* * *

Four and a half hours later, Alex sits in silence in the back of a San Diego taxi. The exhaustion from the flight there is sitting deep in his bones, and the cab driver smells like smoke, but all Alex can think about is Meredith. She’s been a constant in his life for over a decade now, admittedly the longest-lasting relationship he’s ever had. All throughout Alex’s life, people have been coming and going-- his father, all of his his foster families, Rebecca, Izzie, _Izzie_ \-- but Meredith has stayed with him through it all. Maybe it's because she likes him. Maybe it's because he was her last option. Or maybe it's because she, too, knows what it's like to be left behind. Her parents, Lexie, Cristina, Derek, _Derek_ … The list piles up. She has suffered so much, and yet the universe hasn’t pulled any punches.

If there is a God, he certainly holds no love for Meredith Grey.

Alex wants to hit something. Instead, he closes his eyes and waits for the taxi to drop him in front of the hospital.

“Want me to wait for you?” asks the cab driver when they arrive, flicking out a fresh cigarette.

Alex shakes his head and tosses a couple of bills toward him before getting out of the car.

Inside, he gives his name at the front desk and a nurse comes to bring him to Meredith’s room. “She’s been in and out of consciousness. Not lucid yet,” explains the nurse. “You’re here at the perfect time, Mr. Karev. The doctor lessened her sedatives about an hour ago, and I’m supposed to wake her now.”

Alex follows her to a room near the end of the hallway. She enters first, but steps aside so he can see in. Meredith is lying in a hospital bed, asleep. Alex can see the soft rise and fall of her chest, and her wrists are untouched, unbandaged-- something unclenches inside of him at the sight.

The nurse leans over Meredith and says something Alex can’t hear. As she leaves, Alex steps forward to take her place. Meredith looks toward him, but her eyes are unfocused.

There’s so much that Alex wants to say. He wants to hug her and thank any and all higher powers that she’s all right. He wants to shout at her and ask what the fuck she was thinking when she disappeared. He wants to cry. He wants to cry until he’s hollow, until there’s nothing inside of him.

Instead, he settles for saying, “Hey. Apparently I’m your emergency contact.”

He fails to mention that learning this was one of the most terrifying experiences of his life.

Hearing his voice seems to ground Meredith. She smiles warmly, eyes focusing. Alex smiles back, though it’s the last thing he feels like doing. It seems to help, though, because she speaks, her voice slow and tired from the medication swirling in her veins. “I had a baby.”

Alex nods. “I know.”

“Derek is dead.”

“…I know.”

Meredith takes a deep breath, closing her eyes, living it over again. Alex lowers the bed rails and sits down beside her. “I’m here for you, y’know,” he tells her. “I’m your person, or… or whatever.”

She opens her eyes.

“Mer,” he adds, voice breaking. “Please don’t die on me.”

Wordlessly, Meredith reaches a hand toward him. Alex takes it like a lifeline, running his thumb over her wrist. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to. Feeling her pulse, continuous and unrelenting, is enough.


End file.
